Transitions in Marriage

This week we have been talking a lot about marriage, and the transitions that couples go through while being married. During that first month of marriage, there are several adjustments that couples go through, such as defining rules, boundaries, and responsibilities. It can be tough to assign who does what in a household, and discussions like these should be discussed while a couple is engaged. During the first year (or couple of years), a couple also adjusts to one another's social lives, values, and limitations. These also should be discussed and established during engagement, if possible.

Some of the most important tasks during engagement are to establish patterns, learn about each other and yourself more, establish roles in families, know each other's families, define social boundaries, and discuss mutual decision making. It is important to talk things through throughout the engagement, and to still have a good time as a couple. It is also important to ask one another what they thing the purpose of family is. These conversations can help define the marriage, and see what it will be like ahead of time.

It has been determined that as children are born in a marriage, marital satisfaction declines until the children leave. This can be due to a number of reasons, such as the father not being included in all of the life of the child, such as helping take care of baby tasks, and not being a part of the bond between the mother and baby. When there is communication, and inclusion, the marital satisfaction is more likely to not go down.

The ultimate purpose of two people being married is to create a new family.

Thanks for reading!

Preparing for Marriage by Dating

We have recently talked about preparing for marriage in class. Well, a large part of preparing for marriage is dating. Now, there is a difference between dating and hanging out. Hanging out is just being around someone for a certain period of time, while dating is more than that. Hanging out is usually spontaneous, and if you are hanging out with lots of people, there is almost that sense of competition to fight for one person's attention. A relationship built upon hanging out all the time is not the healthiest of relationships, and it can determine the kind of marriage a couple will have.

Dating is usually classified as these three things: planned, paid for, and paired off. When a date or activity is planned, that shows that there was conscious effort put behind it. It isn't just some spontaneous hang out where you watch Netflix and barely speak to each other. When a date is paid for, that means resources have been put into place, and can also show how much thought the person put into the whole date. A date doesn't have to be expensive, though. Some of the most fun dates are the small ones that don't take a lot of money, such as a small picnic in the park. Finally, a date really should be paired off, which means it's just you and your date, or you two and another couple. It should really be clear, though, who is on the date with whom.When a couple is paired off, they can really get to know one another, and there is more opportunity to learn about personal interests and such. Being paired off also means that each person is responsible for the needs of the other, and should be more sensitive to that, instead of having to worry about multiple people (like in hanging out).

Dating is also a good way to get to know another person, and see how they react in certain situations. For example, if two couples go on a date, and they decide to go to the park and build a snow fort (assuming it's winter), that is an opportunity to someone's true personality and character in a group setting. You can see how they react to other people's ideas, and how they interact with other couples. It is also a way to see how they show leadership, and how they respond to the cold weather. It is important to go on many different kinds of dates when in a relationship with someone, to see how they are in specific circumstances. It is also a way to show the kind of person you are. Just know that the best predictor of future behavior is current behavior.

Dating is truly important when trying to choose a future spouse and companion. It shows what kind of person you are with, and is a way to get to know them personally. Dating is also just plain fun. Remember, it doesn't mean that you love that person, or that you have to be committed to them; it is a fun way to get to know lots of people, while finding what you want in an eternal companion.

Thanks for reading!

Gender Differences and Same-Sex Attraction

This week in class, we learned a lot about gender differences. We watched a video that discussed these differences. In the video, there were women who believed that men and women should be completely equal They also believed that the only reason we grow up to have different preferences (like dolls or cars), is because of parents raising them that way. Throughout the video, though, the interviewer kept trying to bring up biological differences to those women, but they just wouldn't have it. I personally disagree with the women in the video, because there were some differences that just couldn't be refuted. Overall, women were more social, self-soothing, and were better able to remember the placement of objects. Men however, thought more in 3-D, and were more aggressive. It also showed that for the majority, females are relationship-oriented, while males are more task-oriented. I just thought it was interesting to see all the differences between the genders. I believe that men and women were created to be different, and to compliment each other. If everyone was the same, the world would be a boring place.

We also talked about same-sex attraction this week. There was another video that we watched that showed some of the reasons people (specifically males), might be attracted to their same sex. To be clear, when someone is attracted physically, or sexually, to someone of the same sex, it is called same-sex attraction. A homosexual is someone who has acted on their attraction, and gay and lesbian is more of a term that some people use to refer to their identity. Some of the reasons the video gave for same-sex attraction among men were: sexual abuse from the same sex, craving male attention, pornography, father hunger, and bullying. It is often difficult for people when they feel sexual attraction to people of the same gender. It brings up mixed and confused feelings. Through therapy, though, people can overcome those feelings if they want to change. I just thought it was all very interesting, and it made sense to me.

I fully encourage anyone reading to do their own research, and decide how they feel for themselves. This is all just how I feel about what I have learned in class.

Thank you for reading!