Divorce and Remarriage

This last week I have been learning about divorce and remarriage. While I personally have never dealt with divorce and remarriage in my immediate family, I know that it can be hard to deal with for all of those involved. Before I start talking about what I have personally learned, I encourage everyone to do their own research on this topic, and to think about how this affects everyone involved.

Patterns tend to repeat themselves, so it is not surprising that when children have parents who are divorced or remarried, they are more likely to deal with it in their own lives in the future. That is why it is important to have good examples of healthy marriages to look to. We often learn by example. Those who have divorced parents are more likely to question their ability to have a successful marriage. That is why it is also important that people have a strong support system, and that they have people to reassure them of their ability to have good relationships. I think an important part of this is to be aware of the reasons behind divorce, and to see the problems can be fixed before it gets to that point. Oftentimes, couples who have divorced wished they would have just fixed their problems, instead of having it resulting of them breaking apart their marriage. That is why there are marriage and family therapists and counselors, and many other forms of help available. Marriage and the family are extremely important, so we should try all we can to protect those things.

When considering divorce, one must think about how it will affect children, and how the parents not being together will affect them as well. Divorce and remarriage are more complex than people think. I believe that children are the ones who are affected the most by divorced and remarried parents. And like I said before, children learn by example. Sometimes, people do not realize that when there is a problem between them and their spouse, their children will have to deal with it as well. Sometimes people are selfish in that way, and they don't think about how their problems affect their kids.

There are four facts I want to share with anyone reading about remarried families:

1) It takes a minimum of 2 years to adjust. This could mean socially, environmentally, and basically anything that takes adjusting.
2) Birth parents should be in charge of all heavy discipline. Children are more likely to cling to their biological parents, so if an outside person tries to discipline them, they might see that as a challenge or attack.
3) Step-parents should have relationships with step-children similar to that of a good aunt or uncle. Step-children have to learn to trust step-parents, and they still love their biological parents, so they don't want to have intruders in their lives. They are still going through tough feelings and situations when their parents divorce, so they need people who can support them.
4) There need to be more conferences between spouses about their children, whether it be biological, or step-children. Spouses need to be united when it comes to raising their children, and that is how they benefit most.

Thank you for reading! Again, I encourage everyone to do their own research, and see what works for them best.