All About Communication

Communication is extremely important in all types of relationships. It is especially important in marriage, though. I heard something that I really liked regarding communicating. It was that we need to communicate not just clearly enough to be understood, but so clearly we cannot be misunderstood. I think that is so true, especially since one of the habits from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood." If people are truly trying to understand one another, communication goes so much better.

About 14% of our communication is through words, around 35% is through our tone, and then about 51% is non-verbal (like hand motions and facial expressions). It is so crazy to think that we communicate so much without even saying anything. That is why we have to be careful when trying to communicate with people. In marriage, we should be clear about what we are trying to convey, and not leave the other person guessing. I think too much in relationships people try to skirt around something without even saying what is really on our minds. For example, there is a commercial where a wife tells her husband that it really stinks in the house, when she really just wants her husband to take out the trash. Of course the husband doesn't catch the hint because he is focused on a sports game, and so the wife just gets angry and finally tells him to take out the trash. When communicating, we must get to the point, or else we should not be angry if someone cannot guess what we are thinking.

When communicating, it is important to use empathic listening skills. It is good to let others know that we are actually listening to them, and that we care about them. People are more willing to say what is on their mind when we show them that we are trying to understand what they are saying, and that we actually want to understand. I know that I feel more inclined to open up to someone when I think that they actually care about me because they are listening and understanding what I am trying to convey to them. Some suggestions to do this is to repeat back to them what you believe they are saying, and to actively listen, instead of just trying to pry or give advice straight away.

I definitely thing anyone reading should do some research on their own, and don't just take my advice. I believe that relationships are best, though, when there is good and healthy communication. Thanks for reading!